AROOOOOOOOOOOO!

The Spartan Sprint is over and I did it.
It was unequivocally the hardest physical thing I've ever done...yea, reflect on that a moment. Where the Warrior Dash is designed to be the craziest fricking day of your life, the Spartans are designed to...well as they say on the shirt "You'll Know At The Finish Line."

I got a spiffy race shirt and a surprisingly nice medal. It's heavy, it's attractive and after crossing the line I feel worthy of such a thing.

The first sign that this was going to hurt was when the race changed from 3 miles of hell to 4 and then 4.5 and THEN they added a water station. Water stations don't typically appear in Sprint level Spartan races. Once we watched the elite wave go (Hobie Call leading the way) straight up the slope, I knew why. I'll be honest, unless you are a Very experienced trail runner, this race would kick your ass without obstacles. We found ourselves racing UP ski runs and up the rocky areas under the lift and up and up and up. The vast majority of obstacles were merciless. The easiest thing I did all day was crawl through a 100 yard tunnel on my hands and knees. I climbed walls ranging from 4-10 feet tall, crawled under barbed wired that was 10" above the mud, carried a 5 gallon bucket filled with gravel down and then BACK UP a ski run, dragged a 20 lb cinderblock through a lake, hoisted 2 - 20 lb cinderblocks up a 30 foot a-frame, climbed a cargo net that was at least 30 feet high, rode down a high speed waterslide to start a swam a muddy lake, rope climbed up a sloped and greased wall, jumped over several feet of fire, tested my ability to throw a spear and did battle with three pugil stick wielding people.

I failed a few obstacles. There was a wall with blocks randomly screwed into it that you had to climb sideways across. I lost my grip and it cost me 30 burpees. There was a Karate Kid styled balance obstacle where logs had been placed in the ground, about 4 feet apart and you cross about 30 feet balanced on the top of the logs. I lost my balance and that was 30 burpees. When I got to the spear throw, I hit my mark BUT the spear slid back out. Guess what I had to do then.

I got beat up a little but very little in the way of actual injury. My hamstring was hurting pretty bad after crashing down a hill near the cargo net climb (honestly that caused my failure at the logs) and when I went down the slide the rocket scientist behind me didn't give me a second so he came crashing down into the back of my neck and I saw stars. Happily I had made a few friends on the course and they kept me from going under while I got my wits back about me.

I met some great people out there. There was a 60 year old woman that I was talking to who was slogging along with me. For quite a while I got to run with two extraordinary ladies dressed as an angel and a devil...I'm sorry I missed their finish.

There were some high points in the thing, I loved hoisting the blocks. In body weight exercises, I've still got some weight slowing me down but when I can measure my strength against a fixed weight, I'm apparently quite fearsome, even among other fit people. I was also proud of how I handled the "pugilists." There was a gap in people and they were talking among themselves. I could have dashed past... I roared a challenge, made eye contact and charged each one in turn and deflected their blows quite easily.

Now for the final bits: Will I do this race again? I am not sure. Hopefully, I'll be in better shape next year and I will want a rematch but given the very physical nature of this thing, I'm not running it if I'm not 100%.  If this sounds like something you can't do, you are right. Unless you are very, Very, VERY fit (4 miles of brutal trail running and 120 burpees is an easy day for you), there is no way you can manage this event. You have to find a way to do it anyway. It is a test about what's inside...and that's what you know at the finish line.