Courage

People have two bits of short sightedness when it comes to courage. I think a lot of this is due courage and bravery and heroism being over attributed these days.

Courage requires an action. That's not a popular position since we like to think of people who simply endure as brave and heroic but frankly that's not true. To simply suffer is not brave. To choose to continue to suffer as a choice, for a reason...that's different but there is a common denominator. There is a moment when you decide to do something that possibly will cost you, something that honestly makes little sense to the logical mind but is simply what is right. For some reason people aren't comfortable with this. Perhaps they think it sounds boastful, perhaps they never see it in themselves, perhaps they think that heavy stew of emotional actions is uncomfortable to own but for what ever the reason, people are a lot more comfortable with owning actions that are really just...smart.

Let's take Minerva for example.

People LOVE the moment when she awakens the statues. She is getting her upper lip stiffened and putting stuff in motion but seeing how she is slightly giddy is telling you that this is honestly just a logical choice. The bad guys are coming and they are ready to make war. She knows the spell, she's putting the defenses in place to try to win. This really isn't particularly brave...this is just good sense. Put all your pieces out on the board. This shows why this lady was (as rumor has it) almost sorted Ravenclaw.

Now let's talk about the less funny, less comfortable moment that is hers. When she shoves Harry Potter out of her way to draw down on Snape. This is courage. She is potentially offering her life for Harry. Being a smart woman, she knows she is starting a war and even if she wins, she might die. Even if she wins and doesn't die, people she loves WILL die...that's what war is. She does it anyway because it's right and it's what she needs to do. This is showing why she's the leader of the Griffondors.





Tossing up a fairly undramatic but resolved restart post without stats (you know we will love you and cheer every victory anyway) shows that you know the only person who can hold you accountable, REALLY is...you. You have to make the choices to eat right, to do the workouts and become a better Jen. Clearly you've given it a bit of thought but it's equally clear this is something you *need* to do.

So, yea. You aren't doing the pragmatic thing. You are starting a fucking war lady!

A New Hope

Seeing some of the talk on the internet about Disney buying LucasArts has made me realize that people have selective memory about Disney and how they have managed their creative partnerships.

"Coming soon: 'Star Tours, The Motion Picture!'"
I can see where some of this comes from. Disney saw the huge piles of cash that came in from Pirates of the Caribbean and obviously thought that more of that and more of any other great ride would be the key to more money than any company could ever spend. "Tower of Terror packs them in, has a great story and an existing IP, let's start there!" Then it tanked, hard. "Okay, let's spend more money, a bigger name on the marque and a more wide appealing ride at the parks!" This movie made money. If you are counting foreign sales as well, BIG money...but it sucked and sucked hard enough to actually damage the Disney parks value a bit. As a result, Disney has backed away. So, yes they have some really terrible ideas but they do seem to be able to learn.

"Won't someone think of the merch!?!"
This one made me laugh a bit. If anyone can be counted on to bring the merchandise, it is the mouse. At the parks Disney relentlessly sells Star Wars stuff, from spiffy Yoda backpacks to having an insanely cool "Build Your Own Lightsaber" station. Some of it is co-branded (what do you expect? It was a partnership) and some is not but even before buying the IP outright, Disney has shown their commitment.

"Disney let my favorite IP languish!"
If they did, either your favorite thing sucked or it has a niche appeal. Sorry but that's the truth. If Disney can turn a buck and do it with enough quality to bring more prestige to the mouse they will do it. Disney is all about building their properties. While they have really let the side down of late when it comes to ensnaring the minds of boys when it comes to the core Disney properties, they take great pains to own the hearts of little girls...and young Star Wars fans. At the parks, one of the most popular experiences is Jedi Training Academy. Watch a bit of the video and tell me that these young ones won't be life long fans.


"But Disney has made some really, REALLY suck movies!"
Yep, that they have. Especially live action and especially sequels but that's the law of averages. It takes some long and hard thought to think of a really, properly good sequel. There is Godfather 2 and well... Aliens and...hmmm. So yea, put out enough content and some of it is bound to suck. But for every Prince of Persia there is an Avengers. For every G-Force there is a WALL-E and for every Dragonslayer there is a Tron. Look back on all the theatrical features that Disney has created and you'll see a lot of stinkers but I bet you see a lot more than make you smile fondly. If you think that most of those movies that make you smile are historical and that the new ones just seem to suck, realize two things. First: Most of them aren't aimed at you anymore. Kids love the hell out of things like Cars 2. Second: Well I'll just let YouTube do the talking again. THIS is what Disney can do.

"Disney has a long history of really vigorously defending their copyright. Cosplay and fan art is over!"
That would have been true were it still the 1980s. Yes back in the Eisner era Disney didn't understand fans, it simply understood products. These days, Disney understands passionate fans and actually uses them to add value to what they are doing. As long as you don't try to horn in on their action, like say, dressing as one of the princesses at the park, they are very accommodating. This likely means an abrupt cease and desist to most sources of Amidala porn but can you really blame them? If you are a Star Wars and cosplay fan, you've likely heard of the 501st Legion. They have been invited to participate at Star Wars weekends at Disney parks and are even featured on the official promo page for the event. Disney is also very okay with people making fair use of their property. They now understand that most fan videos simply add more value and make people even more engaged. I'll close on that note with a brilliant fan video for the theme from Brave - Touch The Sky.

It's been a long road

My friend Damian Doty recently encouraged me to give Star Trek: Enterprise another chance. I'd watched maybe a dozen episodes before tuning out entirely. One of the biggest bones of contention for me at the time was the theme song. Every other outing into the Star Trek setting was an instrumental piece that set the tone for the show. ...what was THIS crap.

Surprisingly when I go back to Enterprise, I like the theme now. I find it very moving. So that made me ponder on why. My exposure to Star Trek started with the original series. I was a suburban "latch key kid" and in the 19070s, the show still lived in syndication. I'd come home, do my homework (sometimes) and then it was time for Star Trek.

Let me tell you a bit about the early 1970s for those who weren't there. This country was about space exploration in a huge way and we were all excited about it. The Apollo missions had just finished, we had our first space station in orbit, we had managed an orbital rendezvous with the Soviets, we were about to put our first landers on Mars and there was planning on the first of the fleet of "space trucks" to ferry people into orbit. The prototype of these reusable space ships was to be named the Constitution but a huge write-in campaign (no small feat pre-internet) to the then President, Gerald Ford convinced him to direct NASA to change the name...to the Enterprise. While she was never launched, she was the first shuttle to ever fly.

Space exploration was proceeding at a breakneck pace and to a young boy, the future that Gene Roddenberry proposed looked undeniable. If anything, his timeline was looking conservative. Surveyor 1 had preceded humans to the moon by three years so we figured with Viking touching down in 1976 that humans would be on the surface of Mars sometime before the end of the decade.

With the fall of the Berlin Wall and the end of the Cold War, the value of exploration as a propaganda tool evaporated. Cynicism replaced pride in the US and the public just kind of lost interest in space exploration. The plans for the rockets we were going to build to replace the shuttle fleet got scrapped, the shuttles got retired and it really started to look like the shortsighted among us would allow the human race to go extinct at the bottom of the Earth's gravity well.

...and then the Curiosity landed like a BOSS! We have a new generation of people who have not seen the like and they are excited to be exploring a whole different planet. Bobak Ferdowski is now a rock star and it's very possible we might make it off of this pale blue dot before our species dies out. It's easy to look at some reality TV, read the newspapers and come to the conclusion that maybe, we deserve to end here. If this is the best we can do, we might be best left as a bad example for the next civilization that comes along.

but here is the thing to understand. The stakes are higher than that. We aren't in it for the fans of "Here Comes Honey Boo Boo." This is about Shakespeare and Mozart and the Beatles and Ansel Adams and Martin Luther King and the millions of books and songs and images and thoughts of those yet to be born.

So, what the hell does that have to do with the Enterprise theme?
When I first heard that song, I was still coasting from my childhood, this future was a given in my mind. It was going to happen. Now, I see the USA as possibly the most scientifically illiterate developed nation in the world. We spend our money saving the bacon of rich bankers but people squabble over the .4 cents on a dollar that it takes to fund NASA. I'm starting to realize that exploring the galaxy in ships capable of faster than light travel has a lot of question marks associated with the prospect. I also see the excitement and the sense of pride from putting a robot on the surface of Mars, I see discussion of a space station built at L2 and I realize that we still have time to turn this around before we reach a tipping point on the natural resources of the Earth. That future is still in play.

So for the first time for me, I'm no longer certain we will continue the very human tradition of exploration...but I have faith.

Harrisburg Half Marathon

It was an almost perfect day for a race. The morning was cool and clear, if there had been some cloud cover, some absurd times would have been posted. Doreen came with me to lend some support and I met up with Joe Earley so that was cool.

Before I get into the race, some of the good, the bad and the ugly.

The good were the spectators. It seemed a sizable chunk of Harrisburg showed up and they were ready to get crazy. The energy on course was palpable. Some of them even made use of bikes to cheer at multiple sections of the course.

Packet pickup was tight. Check your bib number, go to the volunteer in that number range, take your packet and enjoy.

The bad was all about the planning. As Joe noted when he got a bit sidetracked, there were no course markers to speak of. Directions came from the race volunteers...which was fine as long as the volunteers were engaged and on task instead of chatting with friends.

Water stops had issues. The first water stop was at 4.8 miles. It's a darn good thing it was a cool morning. Barring thirst issues, many slower runners are already into their first gel before then. I'm glad I brought my handheld.

Other people were the ugly. I can live without people who: Move slowly more than two abreast...especially when they are too busy chatting to be utterly oblivious to the pile up forming behind them.

People who don't know how to spit. I mean really? You have to be told to spit into the bushes, not into the middle of the race course?

Flailing elbows! This is almost exclusively a lady runner thing and one day, I'm going to get elbowed hard enough to reflexively hit back.

I've said it before, I'll say it again, FUCK Harrisburg cyclists. About a dozen members of the local cycling club showed up to do their Sunday ride. Of course they didn't check for upcoming events when planning this and nor did they decide that since the race was almost over, maybe grab breakfast...or just ride another route. Nope, two by two they took off down the race course.

So, on with the report!

The first mile was fairly typical of the first mile of any race. Lots of excitement, people ramming into one another and screaming and joy. As we hit that first mile and got up on the bridge people settled down, I put on my Walkman and was greeted by, not making this up, Joan Jett: I Love Rock & Roll. Since the device was set for random, I took this for a good omen.

At mile three, we got a little rural and turned off the paved road. We ran almost a full mile through a chunk of Harrisburg's "Green Belt." Happily the group of men that usually hang out in one section got the memo and found somewhere else to engage in in their shenanigans.

By mile 4, we were back out on the path by the river...this is my home field advantage and I wondered how much effort I was going to put into the race. I was debating just taking it easy, phone it in, just run the 13.1 and be content with 2:45-3:00. Then music played a roll again. A song that I have recently adopted as my "power song" filled my ears. Ozzy Ozbourne reminded me that I'm either in or in the way and I Don't Wanna Stop. So I dialed in a pace a few seconds behind last year's race pace and it was on.

Around mile 6 it became apparent that my bladder wasn't going to be okay with another 7 miles. There were exactly two porta-johns at Maclay...both occupied. So, a quick break took a bit over two minutes. Around mile 8 things got interesting for me. We did a dog leg back through a residential area. Lot of families had turned out to cheer but more significantly, the sun was becoming a factor. I was unsure how well I could keep my pace until the end. A smarter runner would have backed down a bit, I'm not always that smart.

At mile 11, I had a realization: There is no way they closed Forster Street for us. That means we are going under the bridge, more significantly, we are going to have to climb the hill by the Walnut Street bridge, that's about ~400m from the finish. So I had a mile or so to figure out if I was going to be a hero, kick OR run up the hill. I invoked Zombieland rule #17 and decided that I would walk the ramp and make up the time that I lose with a ferocious kick across the bridge.

It was a bit claustrophobic running the bridge. Everyone wanted to cheer their runner for the last 400m and maybe get a picture, so the crowd was pressed in right up to the sidewalk and most of them were leaning in trying to catch a glimpse of the runners.

All in all, a good race. The complaints I have were minor ones. The energy was insane and the course was quick. I'm proud that I found a pace that gave me a finish I can be proud of without running hard enough to end injured. While not injured, yesterday I was a bit tired and sore and my day today started with two Aleve.

Christopher McDougall, Mother Teresa and obesity

On Sunday's run I had some time to think. Recently, I posted a picture on facebook that was a cheap shot at the people who lined up to support Chick-Fil-A. I pretty much got the comments and likes I expected but one status update from a friend the next day had me thinking. He was bemoaning the political commentary on facebook and how it was mostly crap flinging and little actual discussion. He closed with: "Reading these posts, I wonder if I ever actually knew some of these people at all ... :("

He and I have been friends for...wow, has it really been three decades? For those of you who have entered my life in the past decade or so, indeed from the past two or three years, you would scarcely recognize me. In the past few years, my politics and thinking have shifted substantially to the left. While I was running, I couldn't help but examine this.

Doreen and I were talking about this recently since she too has noticed a change in her thinking. She attributes it mostly to her degree program and it putting her in contact with people who benefit from social programs. I had been thinking that it was my experience as a class 3 obese man had made me more sensitive to what it's like to be regularly crapped on. As I ran, I began to think that there might be more to it.

Christopher McDougall gave a TED Talk on the connection between compassion and running.

and this talk has been rolling around inside my head since I heard it. I've seen what he's talking about. It sounds a bit egotistical but either running attracts a better kind of person or it makes you into that person. Much like Mr. McDougall, I wasn't sure which since honestly, in many points of my life, I have been a right miserable bastard.

 As I ran I pondered the nature of running. What are the universal experiences of running? Sure there is a community and with any community there is a commonality of thought but within running this usually extends into various forms of training, types of shoes, what is a "good" race. So I started thinking on training and racing and recovery and the ability to endure discomfort and pain and...hold on right there. I remember being introduced to the concept of suffering as a holy state from an article on Mother Teresa. She (and others) believed that not all suffering is bad and it could bring a person closer to God.

I don't know about closer to God but I'm wondering if temporary and voluntary suffering make you more keenly aware and sympathetic to those who have less choice in the matter. Maybe there is something about spending a few hours per week tired, hungry and thirsty that makes you understand just a tiny bit more, what it might be like for someone who endures simply for lack of money, or a government policy, or having made regrettable but human mistakes at a prior moment in their lives.

I'm not relaying in of this as an "ain't I great?" essay. I'm still a deeply flawed person who holds at least a dozen seemingly contradictory notions to be True but I am still a work in progress and I'm getting progressively more comfortable with who I'm becoming.